How to Plan a Wedding: The Ultimate Guide

De Haven Oost wedding venue outside chapel wedding.

How I Help Couples Plan Their Dream Wedding (and How You Can Too)

Planning a wedding is kind of like arranging a bouquet—every stem, every detail, every moment matters. And after more than a decade of helping couples say “I do,” I’ve come to believe this: your wedding should feel like you.

Not like a Pinterest board. Not like your cousin’s. Not like what someone else thinks is right. Just beautifully, heartfully, authentically you.

Whether you’re just starting or knee-deep in decisions, let me walk you through the steps I take with my couples—and share a few behind-the-scenes tips from someone who’s seen it all (yes, even a groomsman forgets his pants).

Step One: Start with the Heart

Before we talk budgets or bouquets, I always ask my couples one thing:

“How do you want your wedding to feel?”

Not look—feel. Do you imagine it warm and intimate, under twinkling fairy lights? Or a big, joyful celebration with dancing until midnight? This feeling becomes our compass for every decision that follows.

For example, I once planned a wedding for a couple who adored the coast. We didn't just add seashells to the centrepieces—we created an entire experience: soft sandy linens, flowing blues, dried sea lavender in the bouquet, and an aisle lined with driftwood lanterns. It was emotional. It was them.

Step Two: Set Your Budget with Kindness (to Yourself)

Money can be a touchy subject—but trust me, it’s better to face it head-on than let it loom in the background.

My advice? Sit down with your partner and talk numbers honestly and without pressure. List your top 3 priorities (maybe it’s the food, the photos, and the venue). Invest more there, and simplify the rest.

Always, always leave a buffer—around 10%. Weddings have a magical way of tossing little surprises your way (like needing extra heaters or deciding last-minute to add a lounge area for grannies!).

Step Three: Make the Guest List Early

I know—this one can be tough. Emotions run high. Families have opinions. But the guest count shapes everything: your venue options, catering costs, and even your floral needs.

Here’s what I tell my couples: “Invite the people who make you feel calm, celebrated, and deeply loved.”

Whether it’s 30 or 300 guests, the right energy in the room changes everything.

Step Four: Choose a Date & Venue That Make Your Heart Skip

There’s something magical about stepping into a venue and just knowing. I’ve seen it happen—goosebumps, tears, the whole thing. When you find your space, you’ll feel it.

Once you have the date and venue locked in, everything else starts to fall beautifully into place.

Bonus tip? If you love golden hour photos (and who doesn’t?), visit the venue at the same time of day you plan to say your vows.

Step Five: Assemble Your Dream Team

I call them your “wedding day warriors.” These are the florists, photographers, caterers, and musicians who bring the magic to life.

Don’t just book based on price or Instagram feed. Talk to them. Feel their energy. Trust your gut.

If your florist lights up when you describe your dream bouquet—hold onto them. (Speaking of flowers… I could talk for hours. But more on that in another post.)

Step Six: Let the Flowers Tell Your Story

Okay, this is my happy place. Flowers aren’t just décor—they’re emotion in bloom.

I once had a bride who carried jasmine because her grandmother grew it in her garden. The scent made her feel at home.

That’s the kind of magic I live for. If you’re unsure where to begin, start with your colour palette and your venue. Then let the season guide you. Peonies don’t bloom in October, no matter how much we beg them—but dahlias? Oh, they thrive.

And always reuse your florals! Ceremony arches become sweetheart table backdrops. Bridesmaids' bouquets double as bar arrangements. Smart and stunning.

Step Seven: Design with Intention, Not Perfection

From your invites to your table settings, try to choose a few meaningful elements to carry throughout. A wax seal, a ribbon colour, a quote from your vows—these tiny threads weave your story together.

But here's something important I’ve learned: No one remembers the exact shade of linen. They remember how they felt when you walked down the aisle. They remember the way your dad teared up during the toast. The warmth. The joy.

Step Eight: Create a Flow That Feels Like You

The day itself should have a rhythm—a beginning, middle, and end that carries your guests along.

I always build in little moments of pause for my couples: 10 quiet minutes after the ceremony, a private dinner bite before the reception. It’s easy to get swept up, but your wedding day deserves to be felt—not just rushed through.

Step Nine: Trust the Plan, Then Let It Go

By the time the big day arrives, your job is no longer to manage the details. That’s my job. Your job is to laugh, cry, dance, kiss, and hold each other tight.

The rest? It will unfold exactly as it’s meant to. (Even if it rains. Especially if it rains—some of my most beautiful weddings happened in the rain.)

My Final Thought (From the Heart)

Planning a wedding isn’t just about coordinating colours and timelines. It’s about celebrating the love you’ve built—and the life you’re about to begin.

I’ve seen hundreds of weddings, and yet… I still tear up at the vows. I still get butterflies when the music starts. I still believe, with all my heart, in love.

So, here’s my promise to every couple I work with: You bring the love. I’ll bring the calm, the flowers, and the magic.

You’ve got this—and I’ve got you.

With all my heart,

Nikita Nel

Wedding Director, Flower Whisperer, & Big Believer in Beautiful Beginnings